MS. WALKER
Zeke Matthews! This time you’ve gone too far.
ZEKE
I didn’t do it. I don’t know how that got there. I swear!
PRINCIPAL STINE
Well if you didn’t do it, who did? And how did this paint can get into your locker?
ZEKE
Why not ask Tina? She’s the one who has access to the paint. Or Emile! He’s probably got keys to everything!
MS. WALKER
Who?
ZEKE
Emile, the night janitor.
PRINCIPAL STINE
What? There is no night janitor.
(BROOKE and ZEKE exchange furtive glances. They need to be furtive or the moment just doesn’t work. Like, at all.)
So Zeke, care to explain how this can of paint ended up in your locker?
ZEKE
I don’t know! You have to believe me!
MS. WALKER
Frankly, I don’t know what to believe. Zeke, you are out of the play until further notice.
ZEKE
But—
MS. WALKER
No buts! Principal Stine and I will be discussing this with your parents. And deciding if we have to cancel the play.
BROOKE
Cancel the play? No!
PRINCIPAL STINE
We may not have a choice. And, Zeke, we will also discuss what other punishments might be appropriate. If it’s proven you did this, you’ll be lucky if you don’t get suspended. Or worse.
(MS. WALKER, PRINCIPAL STINE, and TINA exit.)
ZEKE
Suspended? Or worse? What’s worse than suspension? Expulsion? Jail? I mean… what the… what?!?
I’VE GOT TO TAKE A STAND
BEFORE THIS GETS ME BANNED!
BROOKE
IT’S GETTING OUT OF HAND,
I MEAN, LIKE, VERY.
ZEKE
THE STORY’S GOTTEN SCARY.
MY OUTLOOK’S GOTTEN WARY.
BRIAN
TO PUT IT KIND OF BALDLY,
YOUR CONUNDRUM’S GOTTEN HAIRY!
ZEKE
NOW THERE IS BUT ONE SOLUTION
TO PREVENT MY PROSECUTION
BRIAN
RIGHT NOW, ALL ARROWS POINT TO YOU!
BROOKE
IT’S TRUE.
ZEKE
SO WE GOTTA THINK IT ALL THROUGH
AND SOLVE THE MYSTERY!
BROOKE
REVEAL THE PHANTOM’S HISTORY!
BRIAN
I know! LET’S MAKE A LIST TO RECONSIDER EVERY CLUE.
ALL
SOMEONE’S BEHIND IT ALL,
BUT WHO?
(During the following sequence, they generate sketches of the three
suspects.)
BROOKE
Brian’s right. Let’s analyze the suspects. Number one: Emile, the scary fake night janitor.
HE’S CREEPY, WEIRD, AND VICIOUS,
AND WHAT’S EVEN MORE SUSPICIOUS
IS HE LIED RIGHT TO MY FACE.
BUT WHAT COULD BE HIS MOTIVE?
AND WITH ACCESS TO A LOAD OF
CLEANING STUFF, WHY LEAVE A TRACE?
ZEKE
To frame me!
BROOKE
HE MIGHT NOT BE INVOLVED.
THE EVIDENCE IS SLIM.
BUT UNTIL WE HAVE A BETTER SUSPECT,
ALL ARROWS POINT TO HIM!
BRIAN
He does seem like a likely suspect.
BROOKE
Yes he does, Brian. But let’s not forget about Tina.
BRIAN
I admit that Tina is a little high-strung. And obsessive. And mean. But she’s also very—
ZEKE
Brian is right! Tina is all those things!
BRIAN
But I also think she is rather committed to—
ZEKE
Good call, Brian. I think it could be Tina.
BRIAN
But—
ZEKE
Tina! Yes, it’s totally possible.
SHE’S ANGRY, NOT OUR BUDDY,
DOESN’T WANT TO UNDERSTUDY,
AND SHE’S GOT A VICIOUS STREAK.
BRIAN
IT FITS UNTIL YOU FACTOR
THAT TO BE THE LEADING ACTOR,
SHE’D NEED BROOKE KICKED OUT, NOT ZEKE.
ZEKE
SHE MIGHT NOT BE INVOLVED.
IT’S LESS PROOF THAN I’D PREFER.
BUT UNTIL WE HAVE A BETTER SUSPECT,
ALL ARROWS POINT TO HER.
BROOKE
Okay. So we have two suspects: Emile and Tina.
ZEKE
Yes, Brooke dear. But you’re forgetting one important fact.
BROOKE
What’s that?
ZEKE
In stories like this, it’s always the one you least suspect!
BROOKE
But in real life, I think we should probably investigate the person we most suspect.
ZEKE
But who is the person we least suspect? Ms. Walker? She’s been acting pretty strangely.
BRIAN
Brooke!
BROOKE
What?
BRIAN
Brooke is the one I least suspect. She has no reason to do it and there’s lots of evidence that she couldn’t be the Phantom. And I can’t imagine she would want to frame you.
ZEKE
That’s true. You make a good point, Brian. Maybe it could be Brooke…
BROOKE
Zeke!
ZEKE
Brooke, Brooke, Brooke!
STRANGE AS YOU MAY FIND IT,
OFTEN TIMES, THE ONE BEHIND IT
IS THE ONE YOU LEAST SUSPECT.
SHE SEEMS SO SWEET AND INNOCENT,
WHILE SCHEMING, DEEP WITHIN, A
SECRET PLAN TO HAVE ME WRECKED!
SHE MIGHT NOT BE INVOLVED.
SHE’S LIKELY NOT A CROOK.
BUT UNTIL WE HAVE A BETTER SUSPECT,
ALL ARROWS POINT TO…
No, this is stupid, it’s not Brooke.
BROOKE
Thank you, Zeke. That’s very big of you.
ZEKE
But I need to clear my name. Right now.
BRIAN
But how can you do that?
ZEKE
Investigate!
BROOKE
So…? Who should we investigate? What should we do?
BRIAN
I think the most obvious suspect is this Emile character. He is beyond suspicious.
BROOKE
There’s one other possibility.
ZEKE
A real phantom? Hmmm. Somebody is “haunting” this school. And it isn’t me. We need proof. And I think I know where to start looking.
BROOKE
You don’t mean—
ZEKE
Yep. This all started when we went down that trapdoor. We need to go back down that elevator, and get proof that there’s a phantom!
TO PREVENT MY PROSECUTION,
BRIAN/BROOKE
AND PROCURE YOUR ABSOLUTION,
ZEKE
I HAVE NO CHOICE,
IT’S CRYSTAL CLEAR WHAT I MUST DO:
BRIAN/BROOKE
IT’S UP TO YOU.
ZEKE
I GOTTA GUM MY OWN SHOE
TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY!
BROOKE
PROVE THE PHANTOM’S HISTORY!
BRIAN
BRAVE ANY TWIST OR EVIL PLOT THAT MIGHT ENSUE
ALL
TO PROVE THE PHANTOM TALE IS TRUE.
SOMEONE’S BEHIND THIS,
AND WE’RE GONNA FIND OUT WHO!